Harry Potter and the 2nd Servant
by Hermione 'DB' Granger
Summary: A first attempt at a fic, by someone who has matured a great deal since. If you like poorly written melodrama, with a MarySue, which will never be finished, please... Be my guest.
1. Privet Drive

Ch.1 

Harry stared into the bathroom mirror and pulled a face. He had a large spot on his nose which he hoped would disappear before he met up with Ron, if not at least before he went back to Hogwarts. Where was a Bubotuber plant when you needed one? Dudley began pounding on the bathroom door.

"Oi! Spotnose, hurry up in there!" Spotnose was Dudley's new nickname for Harry, which was a bit rich seeing as Dudley's constant (secret) snacking on fatty foods meant he had terrible acne. Harry slunk out the bathroom and back into his own room. Checking his chart he saw he would be meeting Ron in two days time. He groaned, although it would be good to get away from the Dursleys' he was sure his spot wouldn't have gone by then. He had assured Ron that they would meet in Diagon Alley, even though he could see no way of getting there, at least it had ensured a semi peaceful life, with the Dursleys being sure none of 'that lot' were going to be showing up at the house. Harry dressed in some of Dudley's several sizes to big hand downs before going down to breakfast. The diet was still in place and Harry was still breaking it with his friends help (although he hadn't started on Fred and George's 'helpful' contribution - they looked suspiciously like ton-tongue toffees and canary creams to Harry, he didn't like to think what the Dursley's would say if he broke out in feathers - probably 'serves you right').

  
  


"The flower beds need weeding." snapped Aunt Petunia, by way of a greeting as Harry entered the kitchen. Even though Dudley obviously needed some exercise, Harry somehow knew he would be the one to do this.

"Well answer your Aunt." said Uncle Vernon gruffly, from behind his morning paper. Two things sprung immediately to Harry's mind 1). She didn't ask a question, you great, push-broom tached idiot, and 2). What am I supposed to say 'Whooped-di-doo, that sounds like a job for Harry Potter' ?

"I'll get started after 'breakfast'" mumbled Harry, with a good deal of sarcastic reproach on the word 'breakfast.' 

  
  


***

  
  


Half an hour later saw Harry sweating, wrestling with weeds, wishing he could use magic and sustaining it all by thinking "Only two more days only two more days." 

Dudley came out to laugh at him mid-afternoon but walking outside and then standing (the garden bench had broken last time he'd sat on it - "shoddy manufacture" according to Uncle Vernon, or maybe sabotage by Harry) required so much effort he retreated to the cool of the air-conditioned living room and relative non-activity of watching TV where the most that had to be done was button pressing. 

As soon as he'd finished - which wasn't until well into the evening - he rushed up to pack his trunk, so what that he had a whole day to go? Some horrible house hold chore would probably come up. But at that moment something appeared at Harry's window which made him realise that, not only did he not have to do any house work the next day, but also he wouldn't have to sneak onto a muggle train under the invisibility cloak...

  
  


***

  
  


"The lawn needs mowing." said Aunt Petunia as soon as Harry had gone down to 'breakfast'.

"Make Dudley do it." said Harry, almost nonchalantly, taking the biggest slice of grapefruit. 

"How dare you!" spat Uncle Vernon, "Such insolence and-"

"Got a letter from Sirius last night," said Harry calmly. He had only used this weapon when it was the truth lest the Dursleys should some how find out it wasn't. Uncle Vernon sat down slowly and picked up the paper. He would have made very good pretence of reading it, except that it was upside down. 

  
  


Harry stared out of his bedroom window watching Dudley struggling with the lawn mower.

"You missed a spot!" he yelled. Dudley yelled something extremely rude and was immediately reprimanded by his mother ("What would the neighbour's think?"). Harry laughed and relayed the anecdote back to Sirius. He cast his eyes back over Sirius's short letter and his own much longer reply;

  
  


Dear Harry,

Just to let you know I'm okay, I'll be in touch for your birthday of course, but a couple of days can seem like forever waiting for news. 

SAB

  
  


This Harry had worked out or decided stood for 'Sirius and Buckbeak' and was just another precaution should the letter fall into unfriendly hands. 

  
  


Dear SAB,

Everything is fine here too, although they've got doing housework and Snape has set us Gryffindor's a particularly nasty potions essay - I bet he didn't give the Slytherins anything! I wish McGonagall favoured us like that, I've got a bunch from her as well and don't even get me started on bloody Divination!

On the plus side Dudley is mowing the lawn as I write and has just been told off for swearing (provoked by me). 

I'm going to Ron's soon!!! Although this could be embarrassing as I have a huge spot on my nose.

Dudley fatter and grumpier than ever, lots of love

Harry,

  
  


PS - what does it mean if I look at my star chart and see a bunch of nasty looking numbers and calculations? Probably that I'm about to die, but just thought I'd ask. 

  
  


He smiled and tied the reply to the barn owl's leg (it had been waiting since bringing Sirius's reply last night) before returning to his textbook and searching for information on why 'Potions are not magic but merely drugs, discuss.' Harry knew Snape's idea of 'discuss'; prevent a one sided view, bad mouth my subject and you die. Equally if you didn't present a balanced argument, 'You have only explored one side of the issue Potter, I expect such stupidity from Longbottom, but this is just laziness, ten points from Gryffindor.' Harry sighed, he may as well save himself the torture of doing it and get detention into the bargain, except for the fact that detentions from Snape were likely to be life threatening.

The last day at the Dursleys seemed to last forever, but eventually Harry was heaving his trunk onto a train for London. He'd got the money from Uncle Vernon ("Sirius wanted to know how I'm getting to London") and the Dursleys had even driven him to the station. All he now had to do was lug a trunk and an owl cage (Hedwig attracted too many stares so was meeting him up there) through several muggle underground stations whilst attracting as little attention as possible. 

"That shouldn't be to hard." thought Harry bitterly, self-consciously rubbing the spot on his nose. 

  
  


I'm new so please review!!! Be mercilessly honest. (PS If you're a Digimon fan check out Shadow2K, he rox!) 

  
  
  
  



	2. Diagon Alley

Disclaimer - (I'm only doing this 'cos ev.1 else seems to..is it the ancient fanfic law?) 

I don't own Harry Potter - apparently Warner Bros. do even tho JK thought it up. Does that really p any1 else off? I mean for God's sake, even the name HP 'belongs' 2 them! What if ur surname is Potter, do u have 2 ask their permission to call ur kid Harry??? Ne way - this is a disclaimer, not a rant, the cinematic fascists Warner Bros. are claiming all legal rights, not me (or JK :( )

  
  


Tis fic is 4 - Rachelfan5000

Angel+Devil=me

lana-la-banana (cool name)

Thanx 4 reviewing (they were the 1s who had when I wrote this, if u've reviewed thanx). 

  
  


Went 2 London 2day and looked 4 Diagon Alley - 2nd time I've done that!

  
  


Ch.2 Diagon Alley 

Sweating and out of breath, Harry heaved his trunk of the muggle underground, he smiled think of what Mr. Weasley would ask when he found out how he'd had travelled. ("How do they run again - is it eckeltricity? Ooh! Did you ride on an escapator?"). Harry smiled thinking about Mr. Weasley, in fact all the Weasleys, he missed them more than his own family (unsurprisingly) when he was away from the Burrow. 

After a lot of curious stares - which was irritating when you weren't trying to attract attention to yourself - Harry finally entered the murky confines of the Leaky Cauldron. He took a deep breath. Unless you counted Hagrid's large musty overcoat (which Harry didn't) this had been his first smell of the wizard world. He sighed happily and, leaving his trunk (minus the letters from Sirius, which were safely tucked in his pocket) with Tom the barman, he made his way out into Diagon Alley to join Hermione, Ron and the rest of the Weasleys.

  
  


***

  
  


"HARRY!" seven voices called from the steps of Gringotts Wizarding Bank. They belonged to Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and the four Weasley children who were still studying at Hogwarts - the twins Fred and George, Ron and, the youngest and only daughter of the family, Ginny. She smiled, for once meeting Harry's eyes, all be it briefly. Harry smiled back, glad to see she was finally getting over some of her shyness. Mrs. Weasley sighed piteously at the sight of him,

"Don't they ever buy you clothes of your own?" she sighed, staring at Dudley's cast offs, which were swamping Harry. He shook his head. 

"And them with plenty of muggle money and all," she muttered, more to herself than Harry, "Reducio!" she said, pointing her wand at him. The many loose flaps of material seemed to come alive as they wriggled, shrinking magically to fit Harry. 

"Thanks." he said, feeling much less of an idiot now he was wearing clothes which fitted.

Once they had all got some money from the bank - the Weasleys considerably less than anyone else, and there were four to buy for - they split up, Ron, Hermione and Harry going together, Fred with George (who headed straight for Gambol and Japes), and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley accompanying Ginny. 

"Have you started revising for your OWLs?" asked Hermione, her idea of a friendly greeting and interesting conversation.

"No!" exclaimed Ron and Harry, in a mixture of horror, amazement and resignedness. Hermione's eyes widened.

"We don't want to know how many days it is until they start." Harry cut across,

"Oh, but that's the thing, it's not many at all it's-" 

"Heard from Sirius at all?" asked Ron quickly.

"A few times," Harry nodded, "He's fine, Buckbeak too." 

They continued on in silence for a moment, Harry feeling slightly hurt that none of them had remembered to wish him 'Happy Birthday'. 

"Probably all the excitement of buying new books." he thought looking at Hermione, "Mind you, she's never forgotten a single thing in her life, and Ron!" He was especially surprised at Ron. 

To his amazement, Harry saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley leading Ginny into a sweet shop, normally kids dragged their parents in their. He shrugged as they went into Flourish and Blotts. 

Some of the more disgusting titles interested him, but this was generally his least favourite shop (it only ever changed if Malfoy was in one of the others, which then became the target of his hate till Draco moved on). Hermione's eyes, however, had lit up as soon as they entered, Harry was sure he almost heard a wistful sigh from her. They'd be ages. Mind you, she never complained when they dragged her into 'Quality Quidditch Supplies' and he supposed he and Ron always spent ages in their, although it didn't feel like it, so he it was fair. They collected their new text books and he and Ron had paid for theirs but Hermione was still flitting between the shelves. After selecting about three of what she called "Good background reading" (and what everyone else called 'Fat and boring" - especially Ron) they left. Hermione decided they all needed an ice cream and a sit down, so they wandered over to Florean Fortescue's for ice creams, for which she paid. Sitting down in the warm sunshine Harry looked up at her. There was something different about her that he couldn't quite -

"Are you wearing lipstick?" he asked her.

"It's gloss, actually." said Hermione, almost stiffly, then, almost nervously, "Do you like it?" Harry and Ron made indistinct "Don't ask me, I'm a guy" noises. Harry didn't bother to ask if that was mascara and eye shadow too.

They stocked up on other supplies like parchment and potions ingredients. 

"Um, I need new robes you guys," muttered Ron, "So I'll meet you back-"

"We'll come with you." said Harry, "Where are you going, Madam Malkin's is this way."

"Yeah," said Ron, staring straight at the ground, "But the second hand robe shop's over here."

Harry could have kicked himself. Ron was more embarrassed still when the shopkeeper greeted him like an old friend. Ron found some robes fairly quickly, Harry was under the impression that he just wanted to get out as soon as possible. 

After they left the shop, Harry wanted to say something like "It's nothing to be ashamed of." But everything sounded patronising or like he was trying to flaunt how much money he had - something which, at times like these, he felt exceptionally guilty about. Hermione too looked like she was trying to think of something. There was an awkward silence.

"I think we've got everything," said Harry eventually, "I'm tired, why don't we just go back to the pub."

"NO!" said Ron and Hermione together. 

"I mean," said Hermione "We haven't even been to Gambol and Japes, or the sweet store yet." Harry stared at her.

"Okay." he said eventually. 

It was almost closing time when Harry finally dragged the other two back, they seemed to have wanted to go in every shop regardless of what it sold;

"Crystal ball specialists?" Harry had repeated outside the divination shop, "But you, we both, we ALL, HATE Div-"

"Oh, well!" Ron had said, dragging him in. Thinking about it, Harry realised that hadn't even been a real explanation. However, as soon as he got back over the threshold of the Leakey Cauldron he realised why. There were streamers hanging from the ceiling and a huge banner.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!" everyone yelled as he entered, going as red as his quidditch robes.

"You didn't think we'd forget?" said Ron from his left.

"Honestly!" said Hermione, putting her arm through his on the right. 

Grinning embarrassedly, Harry walked in to join the party. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Party at the Leakey Cauldron

I am going to try and write some proper fic now, but have 'Queen' Greatest Hits 

1,2 &3 on and good song fics keep coming into my head...no you've lost me, 

sorry. Although I will have to stop CD to do songs...yes it's worth it.

  
  


Okay that was yesterday (suppresses urge to write Beatles song fic). I have a 

good idea 4 a 1 off fic, but I'm going to do this 4 a while. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Disclaimer; Did anyone here really think I owned Harry Potter? You did? How 

sweet...you're wrong. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Ch.3 - Party at the Leakey Cauldron

The party mainly consisted of the Weasleys and people who had been in the pub at the time (Harry recognised a few, including Dedalus Diggle), a few of his school friends who had been doing their shopping were also hanging around. 

"This way dear, this way" said Mrs. Weasley, ushering him past several long tables. Looking at the contents of the many bowls on them understood why the Weasleys had been sweet shopping. Mrs. Weasley stopped him in front of the biggest trestle table in the room.

"Presents!" she announced cheerfully. Harry was sure is mouth had dropped a mile because in front of him was the largest pile of gifts he'd ever seen. He wondered how much the Weasleys had had to spend. 

"Open mine firs'! Open mine firs'!" came an excited voice from the back. Harry couldn't believe how he hadn't spotted Hagrid before, then he realised Hagrid was sitting down (how long would that chair last?) while everyone else was standing. Hagrid shifted uncomfortably, aware everyone was watching him,

"I mean...'appy birthday 'Arry" Harry laughed, Hagrid was just a (very) big kid at heart. He recognised Hagrid's scrawly writing at once. Tearing open the package he found a large quantity of sweets,

"'Ome made, they are." said Hagrid proudly. Harry quickly dropped the sweet he was holding back into the tub. He put the tin with some of the other food,

"Help yourselves!" he told the assembly, "Although I wouldn't" he added in an undertone, grabbing Ginny Weasley, who had been headed for the tin. She laughed rather guiltily. 

Harry sat down by the gifts feeling very uneasy. He opened the cards first, there was one from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley - a wizards idea of a pastoral scene; a thrashing tree (which Harry recognised as a Whomping Willow) and several magical animals trotting to and fro, one from Ginny with a flashing 'Happy Birthday' on the front. 

"I enchanted it myself," she said shyly. 

"Thanks," said Harry, "That's really sweet. Won't you get expelled though?"

"Oh, no, I did it at the end of last term." said a now bright red Ginny. Ron's card featured a 'Martin Miggs; the Mad Muggle' comic strip. Ron had drawn on Martin to make him fatter and then labled it 'Dudley'. Fred and George's card exploded in face, much to Mrs. Weasleys anger and everyone else's amusement. The next card he opened had a picture of a small black dog on the front. Inside it read;

  
  


'Dear Harry, 

I'll send your present separately and later in case there's lots of people around.'

  
  


"Who's that from dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

  
  


"The Dursleys" said Harry quickly, knowing he wouldn't have to explain if another card from them showed up because that would never happened. 

  
  


Harry moved onto his presents, which were interesting enough to look at from the outside. They were wrapped in what, he could only assume, was wizard wrapping paper. It was similar to muggle paper, in that was bright, with interesting patterns, however, these patterns were actually swirling, rather that just looking swirly, some were flashing and one was even singing 'Happy Birthday' (this one got extremely excited when he picked it up and started singing at the top of its voice) . The first parcel he opened (if you didn't count Hagrid's) was from Mr. and Mrs Weasley, it consisted of a large amount of home cookery and a set of gobstones. Judging by the chips they were second hand but that made Harry feel a lot better - he'd hate the Weasleys to have spent a lot on him. Ginny had got him some sweets, as had Fred and George. He eyed them suspiciously.

"Oh go on!" begged Fred,

"Their 'short effect' ones," added George, "Won't last long."

"Alright," said Harry, "If you to do."

"NO ONE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THEIR OWN PRANK!" said Fred and George, highly offended at such a suggestion, "Ron'll do it." 

Eventually they persuaded Hermione to eat one - Ron had flatly refused. 

"At least this doesn't taste bad," thought Harry sucking the toffee. A noise half way between a scream and a roar of laughter came from beside him, Hermione's tongue was swelling up. Watching her trying to laugh with a giant tongue hanging out her mouth was the funniest thing Harry had ever seen. His tongue was now swelling up too, much to everyone, except Mrs. Weasley's, amusement. Hermione waggled her foot long purple tongue at him and he blew a giant raspberry back. They were still in hysterics as their tongues shrunk back to normal size. Soon everyone was clamouring for a toffee and the pub descended into giant tongued chaos for several minutes, during which Neville Longbottom accidentally ate a piece of Hagrid's home made toffee. The effects of this were far worse than those of the ton tongue toffees and Mrs. Weasley had to perform an unsticking charm on him before he could move his jaw again.

Ron had bought him a large bag of dungbombs and last year's 'Martin Miggs' annual and Hermione had bought him an ink set from Flourish and Blotts; one was rainbow, changing to the next colour on every letter, one changed colour according to your mood and the other was invisible ink (which came with a Revealer), when Harry lifted it out the box for a closer look he saw Hermione had drawn a little dog underneath - he understood. 

"In case you thought those were boring, got you this," she said, holding out a chocolate shaped parcel, "to sweeten you up a bit." she finished, with a mischievous, lip-glossed smile. 

After opening the last of his presents (an exploding snap deck from the Gryffindor boys who were there), he found another card which had been buried. Most people were too busy eating sweets and talking to notice, but Ron and Hermione were still sitting with Harry. Ginny was also hovering nearby.

"It's from Dobby!" said Harry opening it. The card - if it could be called that, it was a slip of parchment with a design on one side and writing on the other - was clearly home made. The picture consisted of several large socks of different colours and on the back it said, in very wobbly, childlike writing,

  
  


"Dear Harry Potter, sir,

A veri Hapy Bithday! Dobby is hopping you iz wel sir. Sadly Winky iznt, she is much, much wos and may hav to go away for geting betta.

Ever your frend,

Dobby 

  
  


Hermione looked on the verge of tears - she was outraged on two counts; 

1). Winky was very sick ("Oh that evil old Mr. Crouch - it's all his fault!), and

2). House Elves were clearly not receiving a proper education. 

  
  


***

  
  


Much later the Weasleys and Harry were preparing to go back to the Burrow, they had seen Hermione off with her parents on the muggle street and were standing by the fireplace in the Leakey Cauldron. Harry had packed all his cards (save Sirius's) in his trunk, along with his presents and the wrapping paper, which he found interesting, much to Mr. Weasley's surprise (this had then lead to a series of questions about muggle wrapping paper). 

"Ladies first," said Tom, offering the jar to Ginny. She took a pinch of the glittering floo powder and was gone in a second. Mrs Weasley insisted on going last, so Ginny was followed by Ron, Fred, George, Mr Weasley (with Harry's trunk), and then Harry himself. 

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Mrs. Weasley asked him. Harry knew she was remembering the time he'd wound up in Knockturn Alley.

"I've travelled by it since then, I'll be fine." Harry reassured her, taking a pinch of floo powder. He put his glasses in his pocket, took a deep breath and stepped in.

"The Burrow!" he called loudly. He didn't swallow ash, he didn't stutter, he was just spinning. He chanced opening he eyes slightly and caught the occasional glimpse of a sitting room, he wondered if they could see him. The views got longer and longer until he had stopped. He fell out rather unceremoniously onto the Weasley's kitchen floor.

"Hi." he said. Judging by the way Ginny was leaning on the table and Ron's nose was bleeding, no one ever made a graceful exit after using floo powder. His theory was confirmed when Mr. Weasley pulled Harry away to make way for Mrs. Weasley roly-polying across the hearth.

"All present and accounted for?" she asked, picking herself up. Harry couldn't help but notice her eyes dart towards him. 

"Yes," said Mr. Weasley, "Ron, help Harry take his trunk upstairs." 

Ron and Harry set of up the winding stairs of the Burrow. They didn't have any breath to talk until they reached the top. 

"What's that?" asked Ron, staring out his window. Grinning, Harry let the owl in. 

"It's from Sirius.' he said, noting the picture of a dog on the packaging. It was a small package wrapped in parchment. Tearing it off he found a note,

  
  


Dear Harry,

I'm sorry this isn't much, but without Crookshanks I have no way of shopping with out attracting attention.

Happy Birthday,

SAB

  
  


Something dropped out, as any self respecting seeker would have done, Harry caught the tiny object. It was a small pendant on a length of brown string. It was quite unremarkable - however when Harry took a closer look he had to choke down a sob. It was like a square but one corner was missing, the metal round there was shiny - it had been cut away recently. The three remaining sides read 'Padfoot, Moony and Prongs' In the centre was a large paw print, a pair of antlers and a moon had been etched inside it. Ron was looking over his shoulder they read the label together;

  
  


"This was mine, your dad had one as well and Lupin still has his." Harry noticed that there was no mention of Peter Pettigrew anywhere.

"Good." he thought. Rereading the label he suddenly thought of Lupin, Harry couldn't believe he missed a teacher, he wished Lupin hadn't left. 


	4. Back at the Burrow

Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter, JK does and is now richer than the Queen! Wahooo!

  
  


ANARCHY, ANARCHY, ANARCHY!

  
  


Ch.4 - Back at the Burrow

  
  


Harry opened his eyes to find himself lying in bed in the Gryffindor dormitory. Rolling over he almost screamed in shock, he wasn't alone. Cho Chang was lying awake beside him.

"Hello," she said softly,

"Cho?" Harry couldn't quite believe it, "What are you, I mean how did you, you aren't supposed-"

"Shhh." she said kissing him to stop him talking. He shut his eyes and kissed her back. He didn't care why, he didn't care how she was here, but she was, and she wanted him. The only thing that mattered now was that he didn't let go. He put his arm out around her waist, pulling her in close to him. Their lips broke, but it was alright, her head was tucked under his chin. They were so close that he could feel every breath and every beat of her heart. Her hand was on the back of his head, he could feel her fingers spreading out,

"You have lovely hair," she sighed, 

"So do you," he said stroking it; it felt like silk between his fingers. "Stay forever." he said. But already she was slipping. Cho, the dormitory, everything was fading.

"Don't go," he cried out, "Cho! Cho?" Harry was wide awake lying on a camp bed in Ron's room. He realised - with some embarrassment - that he had one arm around his pillow, which was lying next to him and that his lips were pressed against it. He could hear Ron sniggering a few feet away in the dark. He really hoped that Ron was just having a very funny dream and that he, Harry, had not just been sleep talking. He fell back to sleep and into one of those pointless 'normal' dreams, resenting it for not being Cho-filled. 

  
  


His worst fears were confirmed at breakfast when Ron kept mouthing,

"Oh, Cho!" at him over the table - complete with hand on heart gestures. 

"Stop it" he hissed, sorely tempted to kick Ron under the table. However, he felt this was somehow unfair, as it was Ron's house. Desperate measures were called for though, when Fred and George entered the kitchen and sat either side of Harry, ie opposite Ron. Harry kicked Ron hard in the shin. 

"Argh!" screamed Ron "You W CENSORED r!!!"

"RONALD!" yelled his mother. Ron gulped. She very rarely used their full names (except George - which can't really be shortened). She was shaking her head as she tipped fried eggs over their toast. "And in front of a guest too!" Harry tried his best to look innocent. 

  
  


***

  
  


"Thanks a bunch!" said Ron, rubbing his leg and scowling at Harry, once they were safely back in his room.

"Sorry," said Harry, "but you did deserve it - the kick anyway. And the shouting was all your own fault for swearing in front of your mummy." Harry looked at Ron with raised eyebrows, the model of obedience. 

"Yeah, alright," said Ron, shoving Harry. "Like you've never sworn in front of your Aunt and - OK you probably haven't" he said, seeing Harry's face, "But, oh - just...." he seemed at a loss, "I know who you fancy!" he finished lamely. 

"If you had a dream about Hermione it wouldn't mean you fancied her." Harry murmured. 

"Mm," said Ron, "I think the lawn needs de-gnoming."

  
  


Minutes later the small potato-headed creatures were flying through the air squealing. Harry thought de-gnoming was fun, but to Ron it was just a chore, the wizard equivalent of the yard work he so hated doing for the Dursleys, Harry supposed. They took it in turns with the de-gnomer Mr. Weasley had invented. It wasn't very effective, but was quite good fun. It worked the same way as a vacuum cleaner (er, sort of) but looked sufficiently different that Mr. Weasley wouldn't have to prosecute himself if he found himself using it. It was bright purple and flashed every time a gnome was caught - this was done by sticking the nozzle of the 'vacuum' down a gnome hole and switching it on. The idea was that it sucked up the gnomes through the wide tubing, although Harry and Ron found they got more earth than any thing else. Once the gauge on the side read 'FULL', you dropped the end of the nozzle over the fence, aiming as high as possible. You pressed 'Reverse' and out the gnomes (or earth) came flying, landing in a nearby field. 

"He's going to try and sell them." said Ron, as they packed it away, "What do you think the slogan'll be? 'Increases the yard work by two?'" He and Harry laughed as they made their way back to Ron's room.

  
  


Harry was flaked out on the camp bed when there was a knock at the door.

"Ron's in the bathroom," said Harry, seeing it was Mrs. Weasley. 

"Actually I was looking for you, dear." she said, then lowering her voice, "About that spot on your nose..." Harry instinctively covered it up with his hand - weren't people supposed to be too polite to mention this sort of thing?

"Oh, come on now," said Mrs Weasley, "It's not that bad, I just wanted to know if you'd like me to er - clear it up for you?"

"I'm fine, I like it like this," said Harry stupidly. Ron would know if he'd used magic on it and would be bound to tease him - more so.

"Don't be silly," tutted Mrs. Weasley, "Ron had a nasty bout of acne last-"

"OH REALLY?!" said Harry before he could stop himself, "I mean, oh? Really?" 

"Yes, dear, its nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm sure you don't want to go back to school like that." She pulled out her wand, 

"May I....?" 

Harry nodded. 

"Acneous redcucium"

Harry felt the spot shrinking into nothing. 

"Thanks," he said. Mrs Weasley smiled and exited. 

  
  


Life at the Burrow soon fell into something that represented a routine - barely. Aunt Petunia would have hated it, thought Harry with relish. It was always untidy, noisy and people were always bumping into each other or falling over the large precarious stacks of everything, which were everywhere. One morning as Harry and Ron made their way to the kitchen (colliding with Fred and George on the way), they saw a brown owl swooping in through the window. Mrs Weasley was feeding bacon rinds to it by the time they entered the kitchen. There were two parchment envelopes on the table.

"What the-" said Ron blearily, seeing they had his and Harry's names on them. They were definitely from Hogwarts - they were addressed in green ink - but they'd already had their school lists. Harry and Ron gulped and picked the letters up. They sat down. Harry racked his brains - he couldn't remember doing anything illegal so far this year... He closed his eyes as he pulled out the letter. He wouldn't know unless he looked. Taking a deep breath, he read it. 

"Oh my God," said Ron, "Can you believe this?" 


	5. On the Hogwarts Express

Disclaimer; I don't own Harry Potter (and I didn't in Ch.1 or any other time I forgot to write this). I did, however, come up with the de-gnomer all by myself, and also this little duck thing (which tends to go dismembered on ff for some reason);

  
  


(..)

U

  
  


Ch.5 - On the Hogwarts Express 

  
  


"What is it?" asked Mrs Weasley. "What now?"

"I think they've made a mistake," said Ron, looking at Harry, "I mean, us, prefects?" 

There was no mistake though, Harry skimmed his eyes once more over his letter, reading it aloud.

  
  


"Dear Mr Potter,

In light of all you have done over your four years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we have decided to appoint you the position of prefect. This is a responsibility as well as a privilege and if we feel that you are setting an inappropriate example to other students, we will revoke your badge immediately. Overleaf are terms of both your privileges and extra responsibilities,

Congratulations,

  
  


Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress 

  
  


Harry flipped the top sheet over and was presented with a very long list of rules. Mrs Weasley pulled him and Ron into a bone breaking hug, sobbing how proud she was of both of them.

"Fred and George are going to tease us something rotten!" hissed Ron, from under his mother's arm. 

  
  


They were making there way up to the paddock the Weasleys owned to play Quidditch with Fred, George and Ginny when something struck Harry. 

"Don't you have to apply to be a prefect?" he asked Ron quietly. Ron stopped dead, causing Ginny to walk straight into him. 

"Watch it!" she squeaked angrily, 

"Sorry," said Ron carrying on, "Yeah you're right. Why d'you think...?"

"I don't know," said Harry slowly, "Usually inexplicable things have to do with Vol- sorry, 'You-Know-Who'. But I can't see how he could kill me by making me a prefect."

"We've got badges and everything," said Ron, "We'll just have to ask someone when we get there." 

"Malfoy!" said Harry suddenly.

"What, you think he's playing a prank?"

"No," said Harry, "I was thinking of the look on his face when he finds out!"

"Yeah," sighed Ron, evidently slipping into a day dream.

They'd made it to the paddock and mounted up. They began throwing an old Muggle football around. Harry noticed, with interest, that Ron never missed a single catch.

  
  


***

Before he could quite believe it (Harry was sure time ran wonky in the Weasleys' house) he was packing his trunk for Hogwarts. He smiled - he was probably the only boy in the world who loved going back to school more than anything else (he included Quidditch as part of going back to school because it happened there). Harry loved September 1st in the Weasley house - it was just very funny. Even with only five of them to get on the train, chaos still reigned supreme. There was nearly a mid air collision (literally) when Fred and George thought it would 'speed things up' if they went everywhere on their brooms and Ginny was a walking disaster area; Harry counted her knock seventeen items off the breakfast table. Somehow they managed to get everything organised without any serious injuries. 

"Come on Arthur!" called Mrs Weasley, in the general direction of the shed, as she helped Ginny heave her trunk outside.

"Just putting an anti-earthing charm on the de-gnomer, dear, won't take a-"

"NOW!" 

"How are we going to get to the station?" Harry asked Ron quietly. He was answered by something nosing him gently in the back. He turned around to find the Weasleys' old Ford Anglia behind him.

"Hello!" he said to it, in the voice you use when addressing cats dogs and other cute fluffy things. He reached over and gave its bonnet a friendly pat. Then he realised everyone was staring at him. He straightened up.

"It just came back." said Ron, as they climbed in, "We think it got bored. It's ejected the 'fly' button though - doesn't want us getting any ideas." Harry grinned guiltily. 

For once the Weasleys and Harry arrived at the station with enough time. Even so they went straight through to the platform. 

"HARRY! RON!" Hermione was running towards them, she threw an arm round each of them. "Hiya Ginny," she added as Ron's sister materialised through the barrier and went off to join her friends. "Look!" she said, sticking her chest out. Harry was just worrying about what she wanted them to notice, when he saw there was a shiny prefect badge pinned to the front of her robes. 

"Wow, that's great" said Harry trying not to stare. 

"Didn't either of you apply to be prefects?" she asked, sounding deeply shocked.

"No," said Ron casually, "But we got made them anyway." Harry wondered if he'd been practising this moment in his head. Hermione opened her mouth and shut it again, she'd initially gone white but was now bright red.

"But - but," she stammered, "But that's not fair!" She looked like she might cry. "Well, if you're prefects, why aren't you wearing badges?" she asked sourly. 

"Well..it seems kind of odd." said Harry, "What if it's a prank or something?" That sounded even more pathetic out loud than it did in his head. Hermione clearly wasn't buying it and was still looking rather annoyed when they boarded the Hogwarts express. There was tense and fractured conversations about their summers - Harry thought this would be a good ice breaker, but Ron started getting edgy when he mentioned Krum for some reason. They sat fairly silently until they heard a noise from the compartment behind them.

"Can't you see this compartment's in use?" That was the unmistakable drawl of Draco Malfoy.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry," stammered a girl's voice - they didn't recognise it. There was what sounded like feet shuffling back across the floor, then;

"Wait, what's your name?" asked Draco.

"Gwyn." came the nervous reply.

"Your surname stupid," said Draco, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"F-F-Feuxpinch," the girl managed to stammer.

"F-F-Feuxpinch?" mocked Draco. Crabbe and Goyle could be heard chortling, and feet moving towards the girl, "You know I don't think I recognise that name. You're a skanky little Mudblood aren't you?"

"A what...I'm sorry, don't understand you," Gwyn replied, panic rising in her voice. 

"That proves it," said Draco.

"I'm sorry, but what are you-" She was cut off by what sounded like, and judging by her yelp of pain probably was, a slap. 

"Just get out of my sight, you scum, and don't you dare cross me again." Draco spoke slowly and deliberately, his voice brimming with menace. There was the sound of a compartment door sliding shut. Hermione was on her feet within a second, Harry and Ron scrambled after her. They burst into the corridor. The girl was crouched on the floor, still just outside Malfoy's compartment. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, although she was doing her best not to sob loudly. Ducking past Malfoy's window, Hermione grabbed her by the arm and pulled her upright and into their own compartment. There were tears in her own eyes as she wrapped her arms round the small girl. She had jet black hair, which was bobbed just under her ears, murky brown eyes and was quite short and skinny. She was shaking. 

"Shhh," said Hermione gently, stroking Gwyn's hair, "Shhh, he's not worth bothering with. Ignore him, those names, they're not worth bothering with."

"I d-don't know w-what they m-mean," sobbed Gwyn, "I, just, I - Oh! Wh-wh-why, did something, l-l-like this h-h-have t-t-to happen on my first day of school?" The world 'school' had become a wail, as she sobbed uncontrollably. "W-w-what IS a M-m-mudblood, anyway?" The group shifted uncomfortably, Gwyn was looking expectantly at Hermione. She sighed.

"A Mudblood is a derogatory term for a Muggle-born wizard," she spoke matter of factly, but there was an edge to her voice, "Idiots like Malfoy think what parentage you've got effects how worthy a witch or wizard you are. Fascists like him believe that people like you and me don't have a right to an education." Her voice was rising now, Harry heard the conversation from Malfoy's stop, apparently so did Hermione because she had managed to regain her control by the time she said, "In short - he is a twat. But it's alright because no-one who matters cares what he thinks. That and I slapped him in our third year." Harry could detect a definite note of pride in her voice when she said this. "Obviously he's forgotten though," she was saying. Why was she standing up?

"HERMIONE, NO!" yelled Harry, grabbing her as he pulled her back into her seat, "What's got into you today? I mean, I want to see Malfoy get slapped around the face as much as anyone but...just - No!" He nodded at Gwyn, who was staring at them over her knees, which she was hugging to her chest. She looked rather anxious. Hermione sighed and sat back down. She managed to cheer Gwyn up and drew her out a bit by talking to her about things like her family, and Hogwarts, until the witch with the trolley came along. Harry bought their usual start of term mini feast, which included Chocolate Frogs. He threw one to Gwyn. She smiled and unwrapped it - Harry knew the curing effect chocolate could have. He picked one up to throw to Hermione.

"No thanks," she said, holding up a hand, "I've got a stomach ache." 

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes I'm sure I have a stomach ache Harry," she snapped tartly, Harry wondered why she was being so moody today, but he was too busy to think about it, because Gwyn had dropped her frog on the mention of his name. She was staring at him, or rather his forehead. If she hadn't been slapped and reduced to tears already today, Harry might have been a bit snappy - the whole 'Harry Potter!' thing got annoying after a while.

"Harry?" she breathed, he nodded, "Harry Potter?" she asked, staring at his scar, he nodded again, she gave a small squeak, "But - But I've read about you in a history book in Flourish and Blotts!" Harry smiled,

"You dropped your frog." he said, "Here, have another one." She caught it without taking her eyes off him. 

***

The night air ruffled their cloaks as they stepped off the train. It wasn't raining - luckily for the first years, but Harry was still glad to be taking a stagecoach, rather than a boat across the lake. Hermione pulled the door closed behind them - her outrage at Malfoy seemed to have made her forget that she was mad at him and Ron - they all settled into the soft velvety seats as the carriage began to jolt along. Harry smiled to himself - he was back where he belonged. 


	6. An Unexpected Turn

Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter...er, I'm sure there was something else I meant to tell you....nope, it's gone.

  
  


Ch.6 - An Unexpected Turn 

  
  


As they climbed up the steps, Harry, Ron and Hermione caught a glimpse of the boats as they ducked under the cliff.

"I hope she's alright," whispered Hermione, as they filed inside. Professor McGonagall was waiting in the Entrance Hall.

"Prefects, this way please," she called sharply. Harry and Ron hesitated, "That does include you," she said, watching them. They followed Hermione and the other Gryffindor prefects (the Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin prefects had all followed their heads of house). Professor McGonagall lead them to a small office beside the Great Hall and indicated that they should sit.

"I have simply called you here to ask if you understand the conditions of being prefects and to tell you that the new password is 'Hinkypunk', I don't want you to miss the Sorting Ceremony so, unless you have any questions, you may go." Her 'asking that they understood' had been rhetorical and, as no one moved - save to shift slightly uncomfortably - she said, "Very well, you may go. Potter and Weasley, a word." Harry watched Hermione walk self-importantly out of the office and wondered what McGonagall could want to blame/punish him for so early in the term.

"You both wish to be prefects?" she asked. They nodded, "This was Professor Dumbledore's idea" she said, slightly sniffily, "He seemed to think you deserved this and was very disappointed that neither of you had applied. However, just because you have been.... specially selected by the Headmaster does not mean you will be any different to the other prefects," she paused to give them time to take this information in, "Which means you should both be wearing your badges," she scowled slightly - there was the McGonagall he knew, Harry thought as he hurriedly pinned his badge on, "You may go, I have to get the first years now." Although she hadn't told them off, Harry had got the distinct impression that she disapproved.

Hermione was waiting for them in the Entrance Hall, she had decided she was proud of them, rather than angry, and was being perfectly nice again. They slipped into the Great Hall and their places at Gryffindor table. Harry ran his eyes along the staff table - he couldn't see a new face among them. Then he realised why.

"Look!" he said, nudging Ron and Hermione in the ribs, "Look, he's back!" Seated as far away from Snape as he could get, was Professor Lupin. He caught Harry's eye and smiled. 

Just then, the first years began to shuffle in nervously, followed by Professor McGonagall with the Sorting Hat. A few of the them jumped as it began to sing; 

  
  


Now here you stand behind me,

And though you would not think to look,

Your teachers once stood where you are now 

And at the time they shook!

  
  


So small was Flitwick at the time

That, what, do you suppose?

When he tried me on his head,

I fell down to his toes!

  
  


McGonagall a few years on,

Without a shred of doubt,

Was barely on the stool when I

"Gryffindor" did shout.

  
  


Professor Sprout was next to come,

Even then she was a scruff ,

A definite herbologist

And worthy Hufflepuff .

  
  


Sev'rus Snape was last to join,

Cunning, wry and thin,

This wise yet devious mind at once

Was placed in Slytherin.

  
  


So there you have the heads of house,

But I can see within,

That makes me the head of heads, for I'll decide

Whose steps you'll follow in. 

  
  


The Great Hall burst into applause - the hat seemed very pleased, the brim was twisted into what was unmistakeably a smile, everyone had laughed in the right places. Professor McGonagall was smiling good naturedly, and Professors Flitwick and Sprout were laughing. Harry noticed that Snape was staring at the hat menacingly, and Harry wondered if it hadn't acquired one or two of its rips by a singing a similar - but more insulting - song about Snape. 

As the first years began trying on the hat, Harry played spot the Slytherin - it was quite easy, you just looked for the nasty or evil looking ones. He didn't pay much attention - applauding politely when anyone was sorted into Gryffindor - until Gwyn stepped up. She looked very nervous, Harry crossed his fingers for her under the table. Even from this distance, Harry could see she was shaking as she picked up the hat. She put it on.

"SLYTHERIN!" it yelled. Harry saw Gwyn's hands tense, and Hermione gave a little gasp. When Gwyn took the hat off she was white - white except for a red mark on one cheek. She was staring at Professor McGonagall imploringly, but McGonagall didn't notice - she was simply calling 'Fry, Lawrence' up. Gwyn went off to join the Slytherins - none of whom were applauding her. She threw a desperate glance towards Hermione.

"They must have made a mistake," Hermione was whispering, but there was nothing any of them could do.

The Sorting was over and food had materialised. Harry noticed that Hermione was frowning as she ate. At first he thought she was worrying about Gwyn, but then he noticed the bright, circular badge pinned beside her prefect one. With a surge of guilt he remembered what he couldn't believe he'd forgotten all summer. Hermione was practically crying into her gravy, she had a very small portion and it remained mostly untouched, she was only picking . Harry suddenly found that he wasn't hungry either, in fact he felt slightly sick, wondering what had happened to Winky. He also began worrying about Sirius - he hadn't been able to send him food all summer. Hermione helped him sneak a substantial amount of food from the table using several neat little charms she'd learnt over the holidays. The puddings faded away, untouched by Hermione, and with Harry not noticing what he'd eaten, and then everyone began to trail towards bed. 

Harry stayed so he could talk to Lupin - it seemed the polite thing to do, but also he wanted to. Ron and Hermione followed him to the emptying staff table - Lupin remained, apparently waiting for them.

"Hello," he said simply as they reached the table.

"You're back!" whispered Harry, his face breaking into a slightly self conscious smile. Lupin glanced at his own shoes and legs.

"So I am!" he said, also smiling, "I must say, that's a very interesting badge you have there Miss. Granger, er, what is s-p-e-w?" Hermione smiled - at last someone had said it right.

"It stands for 'the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare," she said proudly, "Oh! That reminds me-!" She dashed out of the hall.

"How very interest-" Lupin's voice trailed off after Hermione's retreating back, "oh." 

"What made you change your mind?" asked Harry.

"Well - if we discount Lockhart for being an idiotic and incompetent git" he began, "then every other Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher you have had has tried to kill you," he said very calmly and rationally, "I decided I would worry about you, and that the only person I knew I could trust for the job is me, and Dumbledore was perfectly happy to have me back." 

"Oh, right," said Harry. 

  
  


***

  
  


"Where do you think Hermione's gone?" asked Harry, as they glanced round the common room.

"Dunno," Ron replied, "Probably stirring up rebellion." Harry smiled weakly. They flopped down into two of the armchairs to wait. A minute later Hermione burst through the portrait hole. It was a good thing most people had drifted off to bed, because Harry knew Hermione wouldn't want people to see her in this state. She sank down into the vacant chair next to Ron. Tears had already been streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks, now they were accompanied by sobs. She buried her head in Ron's shoulder. He put his arm reassuringly (although slightly awkwardly) around her.

"Hey," he said gently, "Hey, what's wrong?" Hermione just continued to sob, the only words Ron and Harry managed to discern were

"Oh! That horrible, horrible Mr. Crouch!" 


	7. Remus's Return

Disclaimer - I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER ALRIGHT?! RUB IT IN MY FACE WHY DON'T YA?! (nor do I own the Simpsons - see if you can spot the reference! 

  
  


Ok - this fic blatantly isn't gonna b finished b4 OOTP is released (1 day 2 go! yay!). ne way - the point is I do actually have a plan 4 this (*gasp* - I know, I was surprised at me 2!). Therefore, this is a fifth yr fic - however, it will not be changed to accommodate ne info from the fifth book. Any similarities r coincidental (ditto with other fics!). I also have plans 4 loadsa other fics, which I want 2 write, even if they r made inaccurate, so ne thing post OOTP may still b unOOTPy Oh, btw, there will b a large gap of no posting around the 21st.... can u guess why???

  
  


So, who do we think will die peeps? (Ooh! It could b Krum freeing up for a R/H fic, but doubt it [that he'll die - I reckon they'll get 2gether]). Apparently there's a big bombshell at end of Ch2... I reckon it's 2 do with HP's family - prob. Lily. What if he has other relatives tho? (Not living - we know that - 1 of the ghosts?) Or Lupin - the Wolfsbane potion hadn't been invented, so he couldn't live with him, so it was easier 2 say he didn't have ne other relatives than go into it all (we know D'dore will tell him 'everything'). He could b related 2 V'mort through Lily (we know he looks like Riddle, V'mort didn't want 2 kill Lily, explains why he couldn't kill HP) I won't say it'd b tacky if they were father/son in case they r, but u can imagine the rip offs; Enter Voldemort breathing asthmatically. Voldemort: (exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale) HARRY, (exhale, inhale, exhale) I AM YOUR FATHER (inhale, exhale, inhale) 

I reckon I know who dies - we know they r a fan of Harry's, and it was v. hard 2 write:

This death would b hard cos u can't help but love the character,

They r a huge fan of Harry's,

They would probably lay down their life for him (and face it - he's highly likely 2 b in mortal danger, even when Vol-sorry-You-Know-Who was weak he still found it remarkably easy 2 get near Harry),

*sigh* - it could all b over, and life is just looking up for him, he has socks and wages and everything now, sir...

Hell, I dunno, could b Hagrid, 2 MANY OPTIONS!!!

  
  


Hoping there'll b more on Grey Lady - I think I've found the 1 ref 2 her in the 4 books (!) - ev1 knows it's in HP1, I think it's in Ch. 12 'The Mirror of Erised' 'cos it says;

'They passed the ghost of a tall witch gliding in the opposite direction.' (That's the only thing that could b it).

(Soz if this is 'old news' and ev1 knows that. In case u'r really dumb - the Grey Lady is the ghost of Ravenclaw, ev1 DID know that, right?)

OOH! Can't wait! Ok - pls rr my fic now, I'm done ranting...4 now.... 

  
  


Ch.7 Remus's Return 

  
  


Hermione looked as though she might cry again at breakfast the next day when she began buttering her single triangle of toast. She'd sat crying for about half an hour the previous night, then hadn't wanted to talk about it. 

"I'll help her," she was muttering to the toast, "I'll find a way to help her." Ron and Harry knew she who she was talking about, but still exchanged nervous glances. Ron squeezed her shoulder gently,

"Er...Hermione?" he began. She looked up at him, miserable for a moment, then a light began shining in her eyes, all be it dimly.

"Ron," she whispered, a hint of a smile breaking across her face, "Ron, of course." She was talking about him rather than to him. Even if she had been addressing him, he couldn't have replied because Hermione was already rushing out of the hall, snatching up a timetable on her way out. She passed Professor Lupin, who was just coming in.

"Was it something I said?" he muttered as he passed Harry and Ron. 

  
  


They had a much more relaxed breakfast than Hermione. After a couple of rounds of toast, they reached out for their timetables. Harry was relieved to see they didn't have Potions or Divination first. They had Care of Magical Creatures.

"That shouldn't be too bad," he said cheerfully, buttering another slice of toast. Ron didn't comment. 

  
  


"I wonder if we should wait for Hermione," Ron asked as they walked down the front steps. Harry paused a moment, then carried on.

"Nah, she didn't say to, she could already be down there. Or take ages," he added as an afterthought. 

Hermione arrived a few minutes after they did, looking a lot happier than she had done before, although she wouldn't say why. 

"Alrigh' class?" boomed Hagrid, emerging from the Pumpkin Patch, "Got a real treat for yeh today." Everyone in the class exchanged nervous glances. Hagrid's idea of 'a treat' was usually very different to anyone else's.

"Oh goody," drawled Malfoy, "Is it something else with the supremely fascinating magical power of maiming us all?" Hagrid went red and began to shift uncomfortably. 

"No one's been maimed in Hagrid's classes," said Hermione acidly, "There's only ever been one injury, and that was because the person was too stupid and incompetent to appreciate and handle the animal concerned." 

"Alrigh' Hermione," said Hagrid nervously. Malfoy's fingers had been clenching near his wand. He was slightly pink. But, seeing as Hagrid was a teacher, all he could do was glare and give a little cough, which sounded like 'Mudblood'. 

"Er...anyway, I've got summat that definitely ent gonna hurt yeh. He's gonna give yeh all a talk." A murmur of excitement ran round the class. From behind Hagrid's cabin stepped a familiar palomino body.

"Firenze!" cried Harry happily. Firenze smiled. 

"Alrigh' everyone - this is Firenze, he's a centaur, in case yeh didn't know," Hagrid chuckled, "so sit yerselves down on the grass and take notes." Firenze settled in front of the class, laying on the grass, Harry was glad he was at the front, but he got the impression that the Slytherins didn't care if they could see or not. 

Firenze's talk was fascinating. He explained about the ways of the centaurs, and all about their use of and fascination with astronomy. He also explained about their various uses, for example, their tail hairs, like unicorns, could be used in wands. He also gave them a brief history, explaining why they had declined 'being' status - and making it so much more interesting than Professor Binns ever had. At the end of his talk, he offered to take questions, but everyone seemed to have gone rather shy. Harry had lots of questions, but he'd have preferred to talk in private. The trouble was, so would everyone else. When the class was told they could get up and do what they liked for the last ten minutes, most people rushed over to Firenze. Parvati and Lavender got there first. 

"Oh! What a coincidence, my favourite lesson is Divination!" Parvati was squealing, as Harry, Ron and Hermione walked into earshot, "Professor Trelawney says I could be a real seer." 

"She said the same about me," said Lavender, elbowing Parvati out of the way ever so slightly. They were looking at Firenze all doughy eyed and giggling rather a lot.

"They are sick," muttered Hermione to the other two, "He's not even human."

"Parvati will flirt with anything that breathes, in fact I'm not sure she'd say no to a ghost," said Ron, a little louder than Hermione. Fortunately Parvati was too busy drooling over Firenze to notice. She was also too busy giggling over his compliments about their divination skills, to notice that his eyes kept sliding over to Harry. In the end he got rid of them with a cheery,

"Well, can't let you keep me all to yourselves girls!" which made them both absolutely melt. He sauntered over to Harry, Ron and Hermione. 

"Hello again," he smiled, "Mr Potter, Miss Granger" he said, shaking Harry's hand and bowing slightly to Hermione, "And this must be Mr. Weasley," he shook Ron's hand. Ron didn't bother asking how he knew his name, "You two have certainly changed since I last saw you," he added to Harry and Hermione. Harry smiled weakly. 

"Won't Bane be mad at you?" he asked, frowning slightly. Firenze shrugged nonchalantly. 

"I've kind of started, what you might call... a new movement," he smiled, "Sort of for the younger ones, who think the old ways need changing."

"Really?" said Hermione, reaching instinctively for her quill. 

"We've always accepted that our divination skills are a gift, that we've been blessed with something that shouldn't be shared with the 'being' world, we of course being 'beasts'. But that night, when I met you in the forest," he looked directly at Harry, "it made me think. Do you remember what Bane said - about it not being our place?" Harry nodded, Firenze continued, "What we'd read in the stars that night, was that you would meet again with Voldemort," Ron and Hermione flinched, "We also read there would be a death. We naturally assumed it would be yours, it could have been, had I not intervened. But Quirrell died, so the prophecy was fulfilled. That made me think. That made me think, what if the seers' power was given to us to help people, after all, if history had been different, we may have been beings. My new movement encourages closer links with humans and using The Sight for good. I'm fairly sure some of the girls just come for the social, but," he shrugged, "Of course, there are some things beyond our power - we knew what would happen at the end of last term, but that was too large to be over ruled, evil has a strong place in the universe." His eyes were clouded. New societies seemed a perfect platform for Hermione, who began explaining about S.P.E.W.; Firenze seemed very interested and even offered to join up. 

"Are you going to tell us your brainwave now?" asked Ron, as they stood in the freezing playground at break time. Hermione's talk with Firenze had reminded him and Harry of Winky. Hermione looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Percy!" she suddenly gasped. Ron rolled his eyes.

"RON!" he yelled, "R-O-N. Honestly - I look nothing like Perc-"

"No, no, no," Hermione interrupted him, "I know you name. Is Percy still at home?"

"No," said Ron slowly, watching Hermione, "He moved in with Penelope, why?" Hermione smiled.

"I have to send an owl, I'll be back soon." She sprinted off to the castle, leaving Harry and Ron staring at each other. 

"She's gone insane, hasn't she?" asked Ron slowly.

"I think she might have...." replied Harry. 

  
  


***

  
  


Hermione only just made it to Defence Against the Dark Arts on time. 

"Now are you going to tell us?" asked Ron irritably.

"Shh!" whispered Hermione, frowning. Professor Lupin had walked in and was about to start the class. As he sat down at his desk, something strange happened. No-one knew where it started from, but soon the whole class was applauding, a few were stamping or banging on desks, and Seamus and Dean were whooping loudly. The noise eventually died away. Lupin was slightly red.

"Er.. thank you," he said, "Now, would you all please turn to page one-hundred-and-eighty-two of your textbooks. Today we will be studying....THESE!" He pulled the cover off the box on his desk (which in all the excitement of seeing him, no-one had noticed) to reveal a hideous thing with large jaws and a lot of spines (in other words, something Hagrid would have dearly loved as a pet). Never had a class scrambled so eagerly for their books, thought Harry, as Lupin began explaining that the Kwidjibo was an excellent curse caster.

"This one is only a baby," Lupin explained, "so you should be able to deal with the curses it can throw at you. I can block anything you can't. A fully grown one would be able to cast the Unforgivable Curses - Imperius, Cruciatus, Avada Kadavra. You'll know all about those." Harry was sure that Lupin's eyes had flicked first to Neville, then to him on the last two curses. "We'll start you off with the Impediment Jinx," said Lupin, he cast around the room, "Harry," he said, "You first." 

Harry was surprised how easily he stopped it - Lupin seemed impressed, as did most of his classmates, Seamus using language that would have earned him detention if it had been any other teacher. 

"What I meant was," said Seamus, hastily, "Sir, was... er... I don't think the rest of us could do that. Well except Hermione, obviously." Lupin cast a quizzical eye over Harry.

"I learnt it for... the end of last term," he muttered. He couldn't bear to say the words 'Triwizard' and 'Tournament' out loud - he'd think of Cedric, of Voldemort, all the awful things..... he snapped himself back to reality and went to sit down. 

They spent the lesson working on the Impediment Jinx - Lupin bewitched the Kwidjibo so it could only cast this. He kept an eye on students working with it, whilst Harry and Hermione helped coach the others. Harry felt a bit awkward - he didn't like bossing them about, especially the snotty 'popular' ones like Lavender and Parvati. He worked with Neville, Dean and Seamus, leaving Hermione to sort out the girls - she was more than a match for them, thought Harry, ducking out of Neville's wand range. 

  
  


When the bell rang, quite a few people stayed to talk to Lupin, Harry among them. He wanted to talk about something they hadn't been able to in the public of the Great Hall. Lupin closed the door behind Seamus, and beckoned Harry out of the back corner, where he'd been waiting. Harry sat by Lupin's desk, not knowing what to say.

"Have you heard from him?" he eventually croaked. Lupin nodded slowly - neither needed to ask who he was talking about. 

"I've been sending him food all summer - I guessed you wouldn't be able to."

It was Harry's turn to nod. Lupin continued.

"I've also been kept informed about you," he smiled softly, "And Sirius seemed very pleased that I was coming back. I asked him not to tell you - I wanted it to be a surprise." Harry nodded again. His eyes landed on something - it looked like a bit of string, sticking up from Lupin's robes.

"Professor," asked Harry, it seemed strange calling someone who seemed so close, something so formal, "What's that around your neck?" Lupin reached for the string, Harry thought he was going to tuck it away but - although Harry already knew what it was - he drew it out. Three sides of a square hung in front of Harry. By way of a reply, he reached into his own robes and pulled out Sirius's - his - necklace. Lupin smiled.

"Padfoot's," he said softly. Harry nodded, even though he wasn't sure it had been a question, "He didn't tell me about that," said Lupin. He tucked his own necklace away, and came round to Harry's side of the desk. Harry was preparing to go off to join Ron and Hermione. He too, tucked the necklace away, and then, he wasn't sure why, he reached out and hugged Lupin. Lupin ruffled Harry's hair and put his other arm round him. To his surprise, Harry found that he didn't feel embarrassed. Lupin reached out and opened the door for Harry.

"Call me Remus.... well, when your classmates aren't around," he said softly. 

"Okay...... Remus" said Harry. That sounded strange too. 


	8. Girly shopping

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Disclaimer; I don't own Harry Potter - big deal, neither do you!

Nor do I own 'Claire's Accessories' (nor do I want to) which I have spoofed. Ha ha.

  
  


Ok - Katie and Alicia (remember them? Anyone?) are in this chapter. However - as I try to emulate JK's style - they will have no lives. Katie will randomly add her ideas to people's conversations at random points, from somewhere a small distance off. Alicia probably won't be featured in person. I have a theory that they lock her in a cupboard between matches cos she never features anywhere else (though her and Katie seem to have swapped roles in 5) - does anyone else see what I mean about them though? When I put Katie in, I was SO tempted to write 'said Katie Bell, one of the Gryffindor Chasers,' for true JKness. I mean, for God's sake, even JK who bloody well invented her keeps having to remind herself who she is!

I was so wanting to put sarcastic A/Ns in this but 'tis not my style (not in the middle of the fic) but I got so much sarcastic energy building up that (when I first wrote it) I had Katie responding to 'Have you seen Alicia?' with 'Who the fuck is Alicia?' I hope I've remembered to change that.... yeah, well I've actually cut the Q, cos that would mean them acknowledging she exists....

  
  


If you think Ron's reaction is OTT (over the top) then you are wrong - my best friend reacts like that every time I try and take him into the Muggle equivalent of the blatant rip off that this shop is.

  
  


I know Harry's only 15 in the fifth book but, because his birthday is the end of the summer, and we know Hermione's is Sept (book three), basically, she has her birthday at the start of the school year, Harry has it at the end (no one's ever bothered to give a damn about Ron's) so Hermione is nearly a year older and would be 16 in Sept of her 5th yr.

  
  


Yay - my longest ch yet! (and it was planned to be longer - but all my chs end up incorporating less than I planned). 

  
  
  
  


Chapter 8 - Girly Shopping 

  
  


Harry climbed through the Portrait Hole after dinner and flopped into an armchair by the fire. He yawned as he watched Angelina and Fred playing exploding snap. He slumped his shoulders - they were a player and a captain down. He didn't want to boss anyone around, but they needed to do something, especially as they were all out of practice from last year. He got up and walked over to Angelina.

"Hi SNAP Harry," she yelled, not taking her eyes off the cards. 

"I yelled first," said Fred, slamming his hand on top of the pile.

"Did not!" said Angelina, also grabbing at them.

"Did!" 

"Did not!"

"DID!" 

"BANG!" The cards blew up in their faces, causing them both to drop the smouldering remains of the pack. 

"What can we do for you Harry?" asked Fred, blowing on his fingers. 

"Er," said Harry uncomfortably. Fred looked at him, making 'continue' gestures with his hands. "Er," said Harry agin.

"I think we can manage that!" said Fred.

"Manage what?" asked George, sitting next to them.

"Harry has a bit of 'er' he wants us to do something about," said Fred, "Exactly what did you want us to do with the 'er' Harry?"

"Um," said Harry, he knew the twins were joking around (it was Fred and George for God's sake) but they were making him feel even dorkier and more uncomfortable, "I was.... er.... just wondering.... um..... if...... um... You'd thought... er... about.... um.... the... er.... Quidditch team.... er.. at all?" he asked.

"Of course we've thought about it!" said Fred. Harry felt relieved. However, the twins proceeded to explain what they meant.

"You see Harry, there is less allure to this place for us than you," said George, "Well, used to be," he muttered to Fred, patting his pocket. Harry could see several shiny wrappers in it. Fred grinned.

"However," Fred continued, "We have to have something to sustain us through the summer. You see we spend it with Ron."

"Now we know you like Ron...." said George slowly.

"..... but, frankly we think he's a bit of a twat," finished Fred, brightly and bluntly, "Why what were you thinking about the 'er.. Quidditch team'?" 

"Er... just that we're a player down," said Harry, "And a captain. And that we should, maybe, I dunno.... do something about it?" 

"Do something about what?" said Katie Bell, who had been leaning on the fireplace chatting to someone.

"Quidditch team," said Angelina, "Come join the mini meeting if you like."

"What are we doing about the team?" asked Katie, sitting down with them.

They all looked at Harry.

"I dunno!" he shrugged, "I guess we should have a meeting," he said, his voice trailing away, as he realised they pretty much were, "But a proper one. We could combine it with Keeper tryouts. Decide on a captain and stuff."

After some arguing over homework ("Does it matter?" asked Fred) and clubs ("Alicia goes to Potions club?" said George, "Yuck - I've gone right off her..... AS A FRIEND, I meant as a friend...hem.") they decided to hold the tryouts the next Thursday after classes.

"So, that's settled," said Angelina, waving her wand. A large notice appeared on the board next to them.

'Quidditch Keeper tryouts - next Thursday, 5.30pm, Quidditch Pitch.'

"That's just boring," tutted Fred, shaking his head, he turned to George, "Shall we?" The twins waved their own wands and the notice (almost literally) sprang to life.

'Got talent?' zoomed onto the first line, leaving a trail of red smoke.

'Got a broom?' ran in from the other side, tailing gold sparks.

'Willing to risk decapitation by Bludgers?' Another red tail. Smaller, green letters appeared in brackets under this.

'(Or irrate Slytherins)'

The writing was back to black, tailing red and gold as it gave the date, time and place. There was room at the bottom for a picture of a heroic looking keeper, zooming the goal posts.

"Perfection," said the twins together, as the banner continued emitting smoke. 

Harry noticed a smaller banner underneath, which read 'First Hogmeade 7th September.'

  
  


***

  
  


"There's a Hogsmeade weekend next weekend," Harry informed Ron and Hermione at dinner, "Are you going?"

"I know there is and I wish I could," replied Hermione. Harry decided it must be something to do with the fact that women could supposedly multi-task, that Hermione was reading a book, eating dinner and participating in the conversation.

"Why can't you?" asked Ron. Hermione suddenly became unable to concentrate on three things at once, because she didn't reply.

"Is it to do with spew?" asked Ron, knowing that deliberately mispronouncing it would get a reaction out of Hermione.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's S-P-E-W," she scowled, then suddenly looked furious at herself, "And no, it's not." 

"Are you going?" Harry asked Ron, before he and Hermione started scratching and eye poking.

"Yeah - may as well," said Ron. After Hermione had finished and headed off to the library, he added, "It'll give us a chance to get her birthday presents."

"What are you two going to get her?" asked Ginny, sitting down beside Ron, who glared at her.

"Dunno - why's it your business anyway?" he asked. Harry wondered why Ron seemed so unnecessarily mean to Ginny all the time. Then he remembered they were brother and sister.

"Must be a sibling thing," he thought. 

"It's my business because she's my friend too!" said Ginny, "And it's her 16th - it should be special." 

Harry looked at Ron.

"Chocolate as usual?" he suggested.

"Yep," said Ron.

"No," said Ginny firmly.

"Girls like chocolate," said Ron weakly. Ginny sighed and shook her head disapprovingly 

"I," she said, "am taking you two shopping." Ron and Harry exchanged a Look. That could not be a good thing.

  
  


***

  
  


"Maybe we can sneak out without her noticing," said Ron, as he and Harry tramped downstairs on the morning of the Hogsmeade trip, "Run back and get the cloak Harry!" 

"No," said Harry, almost laughing, "It might not be that bad."

"It's shopping," said Ron, "With my sister!" 

"Ok, but what would your Mum say if Ginny told her we ditched her? And maybe she's right - Hermione deserves a proper present for once."

"I suppose," muttered Ron, still looking like he was being led to his death.

Ginny stepped inside the entrance as they reached it.

"Ready to go?" she asked sweetly. 

"How did you do the freaky timing thing?" asked Ron suspiciously.

"Don't be silly - lucky coincidence," said Ginny. Harry had a feeling she was lying by the fact she would never have risked letting them get away.

  
  


"Oh no you don't!" said Ginny, as Ron made to go inside Honeydukes.

"But," said Ron, "Girls like choc-" Ginny cut him off with a death glare and began leading them down a road Harry had never been down before. Ginny stepped inside a shop at the end of it. Harry was about to go inside when Ron flung an arm out, as though he was stopping Harry walking off a cliff, not into a shop.

"We are not going in there," said Ron flatly. Ginny stepped back out the door way, but only to grab Ron by the arm.

"Oh yes, you are!" she chimed merrily.

"What's wrong with it?" Harry asked Ron perplexedly.

"What's wrong with it?" Ron repeated faintly, "Are you mad? Harry, it's a girls' shop," he whined. It was at that point that Harry noticed that the interior of the shop was definitely exuding a strong pink fluffy vibe.

"Hermione happens to be a girl," Ginny pointed out, "As you so cleverly observed just before the Yule Ball last year."

"Yeah, but, come on," said Harry, though his voice wasn't whiny like Ron's, he was laughing slightly, "You can't expect us to believe that Hermione likes this stuff?" He somehow couldn't picture Hermione going into raptures of delight over a picture frame edged with fake pink fur. "Or, maybe you can," he said, meekly giving into Ginny's glare and going to step inside the shop. Ron grabbed him back again.

"We are not shopping in Clairvoyant's Accessories," he said through gritted teeth.

"Give me one good reason why not," sighed Ginny, though she was obviously amused.

"It's a girls' shop," moaned Ron, "If we buy stuff in there we'll look like girls. People will think we're.... gay." Ginny openly laughed at this. 

"Don't laugh, they will," moaned Ron, "All the guys'll tease us."

"You're more likely to get teased for acting like such a baby, making such a big scene, by the group of girls coming this way," laughed Ginny. Ron panicked, grabbed Harry and scrambled into hiding. The moment of silence was broken by Ginny's hysterical laughter. There was no one coming.

"People won't think you're buying it for yourselves," she insisted, "They'll probably be impressed that you're mature enough to know what a girl would like for her birthday!" she reasoned. Ron still refused to go in.

"Fine," said Ginny, "You can stay here, on your own, outside the shop (where anyone who glances down the road can see you) while Harry acts like an adult and comes inside." Harry was about to say he'd stay with Ron when Ginny gave a particularly hard tug on his arm and dragged him inside. Damn it! She was strong.

"Don't leave me here!" Ron hissed, hurrying after them. He shuddered as they were engulfed by Girl Stuff. He and Harry stood nervously in the middle of the shop, reluctant to go ant closer, while Ginny examined key rings and hair stuff 

"We're not expected to... touch it are we?" asked Ron. Harry shrugged, secretly feeling Ron was being a bit melodramatic about this whole thing.

"Well?" asked Ginny, coming back to where they were standing, "Are you going to look at anything or not?"

"Can't you find it for us?" asked Ron, "I mean.... er.... I'm sure you'd make a much better choice." 

"No," said Ginny.

"Fine!" said Ron, "I'll get her... this, okay?" he grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which unfortunately was a pink thong with purple fluff on the edges. The front was enchanted so it flashed different messages such as 'sexy' or 'cutie' on it. Ron glanced at what he was holding and dropped it with a small sort of scream, as though he'd been electrocuted. Harry was fairly sure he saw the teenage witches behind the counter giggle. Ginny unembarrassedly picked up the thong and hung it back up. 

"Do you reckon Hermione even wears underwear like that?" asked Ron, in a disgusted undertone to Harry.

"I don't want to think about what underwear Hermione wears!" Harry whispered back, "No offense to her or anything but..."

"Me neither, I didn't mean.... urgh!" Ron stomped off to look at hair stuff, or rather stare at it blankly.

Harry went back to looking at eye shadow. He was now sure Ron was over reacting. He found that looking at eye shadow didn't make him feel like a girl. Wanting to put it on would make him feel like a girl, and he didn't want to do that. 

"What do you think of this?" he asked Ginny, holding out a small tub of 'Madame Mirabelle's Eyes for all Occasions Eye Shadow. Really sparkle on that special night.' There was a photo of an eye underneath which kept winking to show dazzling eye shadow, which changed shade.

"Ooh! That's lovely!" said Ginny, "But I don't think she'd like it in green. Maybe a bluey grey?" 

"How come you're helping Harry, but you won't help me?" muttered Ron.

"Harry chose that, and was asking my opinion, he didn't ask me to choose for him," said Ginny, patiently but sternly, going over to Ron.

"Fine, what do you think of that," he asked moodily, pointing at whatever was straight in front of him.

"Revolting," replied Ginny. 

Harry picked up the suggested colour. The eye shadow seemed to him to be expensive for what it was, but the trouble was it was so small it didn't look like very much. He moved over to the jewellery. Everything in this shop seemed 'dainty' or rather, small. Except the photo frames, which were just large and disgustingly tacky. Harry stooped a little to look at some bracelets. He pulled one off the shelf and examined it closely. It was a silver chain with tiny crystally orbs hanging off it. Each had a the name of a spell engraved on the link above it. There was 'lumos' which glowed brightly, one with showers of sparks, one with a small silver dice spinning inside the glass....

"A charm bracelet! Oh, how sweet!" said Ginny from behind him. Harry hadn't realised she was standing there. However, Ginny soon had to dash back across the shop to deal with Ron, who had cranked the toddler routine up a notch. Harry looked at the price. It was ridiculous. 

"They have to be hand enchanted," said one of the witches from the counter.

"Oh..." said Harry, thinking it would be impolite to say 'whatever', he added, "Right." He supposed Hermione had been cheap to buy for in the past. And he was rich. Oh, for God's sake, he'd buy the sodding bracelet! He wandered over to Ginny and Ron. Ron was holding a necklace at arm's length and looking sulky. 

"If I give you the money, will you take it up to the till?" he moaned.

"No," said Ginny, "For God's sake, I think they may just about have noticed you by now Ron." Ron stomped up to the cash register.

"It's not for me," he almost yelled, practically throwing the offending item at the sales witch.

"Don't worry," she smiled, "We get lots of guys in here buying for their girlfriends." Ron snatched the plastic bag (containing his purchase and receipt) from her and stonked over to wait by the door for Harry and Ginny. At that moment it was thrown open by a group of chattering girls. Harry's heart plummeted as Cho Chang stepped through the door. He hurriedly looked away - he hadn't even made eye contact with her since.... the end of last term. He couldn't even think the words. There was an awkward pause as the shop fell silent.

"Er... your receipt's in the bag," said the sales witch, handing it to him and turning to serve Ginny.

"Bet you wouldn't mind knowing what her underwear looks like," said Ron, with a small wink, as a bright red Harry hurried over to join him. Harry hoped Cho hadn't heard that. 

  
  


They walked along, Ron with one hand (the one holding the pink and purple 'Clairvoyant's Accessories' bag) shoved inside his cloak. Ginny had refused to carry them. The plus side was that they now got to do what they liked. They went to Honeydukes, Zonko's (and maybe one other shop), finishing up in the Three Broomsticks, where Ron quickly shoved his bag under the table. 

  
  


***

  
  


"Hi guys, did you have fun?" Hermione asked, as she met them in the Entrance Hall. Harry and Ginny quickly hid their bags behind their backs (Ron's was still tucked inside his cloak).

Hermione didn't seem to notice. She seemed too excited about something else.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Harry.

"Various things!" she beamed, "Tell you in the common room? Come on!" Edging carefully with their bags, they hurried up to Gryffindor Tower. As soon as they got inside, Harry, Ron and Ginny dashed upstairs to... er.... dump their cloaks.

"How glad are you Malfoy didn't see us with these?" said Ron, momentarily waving the bag before shoving it in the bottom of his sock draw, "He would have had a field day.... and spoilt the surprise for Hermione," he added, as they hurried back downstairs.

"So, gonna tell us?" asked Harry, dropping into an armchair. 

"Is this to do with the last few days?" asked Ron. Hermione nodded. Ron made a 'So..... ?' raised eyebrow face. 

"I think I've found a way to get Winky better!"squealed Hermione. Harry and Ron smiled weakly.

"Is it something Winky's consented to?" asked Harry, privately thinking "Or just something you thought would be 'a good idea'." 

"Yes," said Hermione, her eyes shining, "Winky's consented - and so has Mrs Weasley!"

  
  
  
  
  
  


To everyone who keeps asking what Mr Crouch has done, it'd be kind of hard for him to have done anything more seeing as he's dead. Hermione's just blaming him still (and fairly so) because he fired Winky. 

  
  



End file.
